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Episode Four
The screen faded in on Chris McLean. "Last time on Total Drama: The Cutting Edge, things got hectic in our underground bunker. While some ended up freaking out, I.E., Kasumi, others managed to restrain themselves. Once again, Raye and Steve were seen flirting, making Maverick more peeved by the second. Chelsea wasn't the only one bugging out, as Joshua showed us a first glimpse of his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I expected just as much, I mean, nobody can be perfect, unless you're talking about moi." Chris looked up at the camera and smiled as a sparkle showed in his teeth. "With all the heat Maverick was getting, he snapped at Alexandria for his continuous feminine antics. Due to Haley's ability to be close to everyone, she managed to outlast all the rest since she's completely obsessed with being around others. The Killer Survivors faced their first elimination ceremony, where Alexandria was eliminated for his girlish behavior and took the Launch of Shame that night. With two down, there's still fourteen left. Stay tuned for more twists, turns, and eternal burns, right here, right now, on Total Drama: The Cutting Edge!" The screen faded in on the mess hall, showing the Killer Corpses' table. The teammates sat in silence as Kasumi poked at her eggs. She then slid over to Raye a started a conversation. "So..." Kasumi started, "Maverick and Steve? Which one do you want to be your hubby?" Raye spit out her juice as Steve and Maverick looked up anxiously. "Well?", Maverick asked. Raye bit her lower lip. "Uhhh... so I hear the anime channel comes on in Chris' trailer." Kasumi's eyes lit up and she sprinted right through a nearby door. Confessional, Raye: "Things are too confusing right now. I mean, I like Maverick and all, but he's too overprotective. I don't want to be with someone who gives me a dirty look every time I glance at a guy. And Steve has so much depth behind his life... but there's just no spark when I'm around him. Why is it that it's so easy to see into other's futures when I can't even see into my own?" Arthur began scratching his head. "Don't you have a novel to write?" Maverick said mockingly. Arthur looked up. "I saw something... odd." Arthur turned his head to the Screaming Survivors' table, where Chastity was looking at him with contempt. Arthur quickly turned his head back. "It's called the sun," Chelsea explained. "It's what you see when you actually go outside." Arthur looked down solemnly. Confessional, Arthur: "I'd tell my teammates about Chastity, but she scares me, man. It's like every contestant is just a bunch of bunnies, while she's the wolf that rips us to shreds." Confessional, Chastity: "Arthur is fully aware of my secret, so I want to make sure he's the next to go. If not him, Ann, the girl talks to herself 24/7." Haley put her arms around Jack and Angie. "Hey, maybe if I'm lucky, I'll win another challenge!", Haley exclaimed. "As long as I have my pals!" Jack swatted away Haley's hand. "Every time you touch me, my skin burns a little." Haley frowned and then looked to Angie. "At least I still have you, Ang!" Haley began hugging Angie's neck. Angie began to choke. "Haley... Can't... Move... Breath..." Milo then stood up. "Stop, you're hurting her!" Haley looked at the suffocating Angie and released her. "Guess she couldn't handle my lock of love," Haley said. Milo then helped Angie off the floor. "You're lucky I have a way with words, or you would've never got out of that hug," Milo said proudly. "Yeah, thanks, uh..." Angie started, forgetting Milo's name. Milo began to finish for her. "It's-" "No, no," Angie cut off Milo. "I know it... Seth?" Milo sighed and walked off. Chastity sat next to Joshua at the table. "So, if I touch you, are you going to run off like last time?" Chastity said, mocking Joshua. Joshua turned to her angrily. "Don't you have an eating disorder you need to attend to?" Chastity bunched up her face. "Just the thought of throw up makes you cringe, doesn't it?" Joshua glared and walked off. Confessional, Joshua: "Never in my life have I met someone as annoying, belligerent, trampy, ill-willed, and ignorant as Chastity. Yet, I feel as though the team needs her." Chris then entered the mess hall riding skis and wearing a ski uniform. Raye slapped her palm in her face. "I'm not even going to ask this time." Chris took his face mask off. "Morning, everyone! Who's ready for a cool challenge? Icy your enthusiasm." Chastity groaned. "Is there anyway we can just eliminate ourselves now?" "If your willing to launch yourself, but just saying, the parachutes have a tendency of not deploying," Chris stated. Chastity looked nauseous. "I guess I'll stick around, then." Chris let out a laugh. "Good, because the challenge today won't be an easy one." Confessional, Milo: "I have plenty of gadgets that will get me through this challenge. Like this button." Milo pulls out a button from his pocket. "When I press it, it makes a fart noise." Milo presses the button, as a fart noise emits from the button. "How will this help me in the challenge? Well, it won't really at all. I just think it's really funny." Milo continues pressing the button as he laughs to himself. Chris walks outside as the contestants follow behind. A large hill, including a section of the war zone is completely covered in snow. Steve began to shiver. "H-How did you manage to p-pull that off?" "Easy," Chris explained. "I just used the air conditioners I was going to set up in Corpses' shelter. Then, I used all the ice from the Mess Hall and used the snow cone maker I got for my birthday from Chef. Well, actually, Chef got it for his birthday and I stole it from him, but it's not like he cares that much for snow cones." The camera cutaway to Chef inside the mess hall, looking at the snow cone box as he began sobbing. Chris continued his explanation. "So yeah, all this snow is what you get when you putt 51,874 ice cubes in a snow cone machine. At least I'm preventing global warming." "Do you even know what global warming is?", Raye questioned. "Something about using the forest as your toilet," Chris responded. "I don't know, ever since those tree-huggers started living in my backyard, I've stopped caring about nature. So that's why I made my winter wonderland!" "Can't we get on with this?", Daniel asked. "My pyrotechnics are freezing over here." "Alright, then," Chris started. "There will be two challenges today, along with a tiebreaker prepared just in case. The first challenge is to build a snow fort for your team. The most impressive fort wins." "That's it?" Joshua asked. "I would've thought you would have came up with something more maniacal." "Always save the best for last, Josh my boy," Chris winked. "Oh yeah, and one more thing before you start. I saw Kasumi in my trailer and I thought it was a burglar, so I might have accidentally tased her with a taser." "How could there be a burglar in scenic nowhere?!", Raye shouted. "Who knows? It could have been a super fan of mine trying to steal my hair gel," Chris stated. "Bottom line is, she's temporarily messed up. But I'm sure she can help you out." An intern wheeled Kasumi in on a dolly, as she looked on with a paralyzed face. "Finders, keepers!", Chris chanted, as he and the intern left the paralyzed Kasumi with her team. Milo began to build up his team's fort. "We're going to need something stronger than snow, any suggestions?" Chastity walked away from her team's section. "I have more important things to deal with now." "But wait..." Milo grasped for Chastity's attention. Joshua jumped beside Milo. "Forget her, we need to start building." "But we can't rely on just snow," Milo declared. "Well, what else do we have?" Joshua asked. Milo pulled out his belt with various supplies on it, as his pants felt from his waist. "I have a thermos, a boomerang, and a rope." "How the devil are those items supposed to help us?" Joshua demanded. "Well, truthfully, I just carry those things on my belt because it looks cool," Milo explained. "And I just wear the belt to keep my pants up." Milo pulled up his pants and put his belt back on. "Well, what else can we use?" Joshua pondered. Daniel shuffled through his flamboyant items. "Well, my stuff is pretty moot in this weather." "We should make weapons together sometime," Milo said with an enthusiastic smile. Joshua slapped the back of Milo's head. "Focus!" Milo rubbed the back of his head angrily. "It's not like the others are doing anything of importance!" Joshua turned to Angie, who was making a snowman as she giggled. He then turned to Jack, who was carving a sad face with an ice pick. "Augh!" Joshua blurted. The Killer Corpses were shown to be struggling as well. Maverick began to build up snow, as it began to collapse. Chelsea walked over and shoved him aside. "No, no, no," Chelsea said, as she began to build up the snow a different way. "You're supposed to put more weight on the bottom!" Maverick stood up. "How would you know how to build? Come to think of it, how would you know how to do any physical activity?" "Because, my daddy owns the Abbott Architectural Company, if there's one thing I know, it's how to build," Chelsea affirmed. Confessional, Maverick: "Didn't think I'd ever see the day where Chelsea is actually useful in a challenge." Chelsea began to build up snow in a circular pattern. "Just let me do this, it needs to be perfect." Confessional, Raye: "I'm all for Chelsea doing the challenge by herself. Heck, Maverick and I have been doing most of the work the past three challenges, I'm glad I have some time to relax." Chastity approached the Killer Corpses' fort and walked over to Arthur. Raye looked up. "If you're trying to sabotage us, we can easily roll Kasumi into your fort." "Who says I'm here to sabotage you?" Chastity snapped back. "I'm here to talk to Arthur. Why don't you come with me?" Chastity held out a hand for Arthur. "Uhhh, sure," Arthur awkwardly responded. The two walked off behind the mess hall. "So...", Arthur started. "The thing I saw last challenge..." Chastity began to sweat. "Oh, that? That was just a little mind trick. I needed an excuse to quit the challenge, because I wanted you to win." "What?", Arthur inquired. "But, why would you try to help my team?" Chastity grinned, and then turned serious. "Well, to tell you the truth, I think I have a crush on you." "Oh...", Arthur blushed. "But why me?" "Because you're the only talented person here," Chastity stated. "In fact, the show is holding you back. You're a talented writer, so why are you here when your books can make millions?" Arthur began to ponder. "Well, I just think I need the money. It's better that I try for the money, just in case my career doesn't kick off." "I don't think you need to worry about that, Arthur," Chastity lightly kissed him on the cheek. "Just remember that." Chastity walked off as Arthur stood, jaw dropped. Confessional, Arthur: "... Score!" Chelsea continued patting down the snow. "We need to build it so it completely covers us in a circle.. And it needs to be at least eight feet tall." Chelsea looked over at her teammates. "Are you even listening to me?!" "But you told us-" Steve began before getting cut off. "If you want to win this challenge, then you're going to help me, now!" Chelsea shouted, as her teammates nervously got up to help. The camera panned back to Milo and Joshua, struggling with their fort. Milo began to frantically pat down snow, as the sides began collapsing. Joshua stomped his foot. "We need to build the sides equal with the frame so both will be effectively stronger and then scope out the rear to make it just as effectively strong." Milo became noticeably angry. "For crying out loud, dude, speak English." Chastity approached Milo and Joshua. "Look!", she said, "they're way ahead of us!" "Crap!", Milo shrieked. "We're going to lose!" "Do you find it necessary to state what's obvious?", Joshua snapped. "Stop yelling at me!", Milo affirmed, as he kicked the fort, making it collapse even more. Joshua slapped his forehead. "I'm beginning to question why I was put on this planet." The members of the Killer Corpses helped each other build, and ended up making a large, circular, eight-foot high fort. Chris entered the area. "Judging time!" Chastity began patting down her fort. "Just one more minute." "No, Chastity, I said judging time was now," Chris stated. "And I said one more minute," Chastity snapped back. Chris approached Chastity and grabbed her arms. "Enough is enough, Chastity!", Chris shouted. Chastity fought back by kicking Chris. "Just one... more... minute!" Chris took out a walkie talkie and spoke into it. "Intern four, your assistance is needed!" An intern approached Chastity with a taser and pulled the trigger, as two cords latched onto Chastity and shocked her with much force. "Auuuuugh!" Chastity cried, as she fell to the ground. Chris chuckled. "Man, I could get used to that." Joshua ran to Chastity and lifted her up. "Are you alright?" Joshua asked. Chastity was shown in a dazed and confused state. "Purple is... just like... the best... animal..." Chastity then fell to the ground once again. Daniel ran over toward Chastity happily. "I know mouth-to-mouth!" Chris put a hand up to Daniel's lips. "We don't have time for this!", Chris shouted. "Now, if all of you would gladly zip it, we could get on with this challenge." "Do you really even have to judge?" Chelsea asked. "The Survivors don't even have a fort!" Chris looked at the Screaming Survivors' fort and then back to the Corpses'. "Good point," he said, "challenge one goes to the Killer Corpses, along with an advantage in challenge two!" The Killer Corpses celebrated as the Screaming Survivors groaned. Chris pointed at the camera. "Stay tuned find out who's gonna win the second part of the challenge!" The screen faded out. The screen faded in on Chris and the other fourteen contestants on top of a large hill. "So remind me," Raye started, "what does winter have to do with the apocalypse?" "I'm glad you asked that Raye," Chris said, as he began to explain. "It's believed that after the apocalypse, the sun will burn out, and most of the world will turn into Christmas every month." "Then why is it so hot where we sleep and eat?", Steve asked. "I dunno, carbon dioxide and radiation?" Chris responded. "Anywho, the second part of the challenge is a sled race down this hill. It was this very hill where great grandpappy McLean fought against the Russians. It was that very day where he told my dad, son, someday you're going to have a son of your own, and I wanted you to fight for his life, that will make him prouder than any son ever born." Chris then wiped a single tear from his eye. "So, your dad fought in the army?" Milo asked. Chris looked at him confused. "No, he built scooters. Moving on, since the Killer Corpses won the last challenge, they will only have to ride down half of the mountain." "Isn't that advantage a little too big?", Angie asked. "Not exactly, Angie," Chris said. "What do you mean 'not exactly'?", Maverick requested. "Halfway through is where most of the trees are, and it gets pretty rocky," Chris explained. "Then what's the point of having an advantage in the first place?!", Chelsea demanded. "Hey, you're still getting to skip half of the course," Chris snapped, "but, if you want to start with the Survivors..." "We'll go halfway," Raye responded. The camera then showed the Screaming Survivors on their sled at the top of the hill, while the Killer Corpses sat on their sled in the middle of the hill. Arthur sat at the front of his team's sled, while Raye, Ann, Maverick, Chelsea, Steve, and Kasumi sat behind him in that order, though Kasumi was still unconscious and sat with her head laying on her shoulders. Joshua sat on the front of his team's sled, while Chastity, Daniel, Jack, Milo, and Haley sat behind him. Chastity was show to have regained consciousness. "And, go!" Chris pressed a bull horn, signaling the contestants to start. Arthur and Joshua leaned their sleds forward, as they started moving down the hill. Arthur seemed to be in deep thought. "Watch out, Arthur!" Raye shouted, as the sled nearly avoided a tree. Ann was shown whispering to someone and then turned to Raye. "Alice knows the way to go, try going left, right, and right!" Maverick rolled his eyes. "You really think I'm going to listen to a figment of your-" "Left, right! Now right!" Raye shouted, cutting off Maverick, as Arthur moved in that direction. The Killer Corpses members looked at Ann, puzzled. Confessional, Ann: "Alice and I always take a walk up the hill during night, and since Alice has a photographic memory, it really helped in this challenge." Alice rubbed her fist on her shirt and then blew on her fist. "Now, what direction?" Raye asked. Ann whispered to someone in back of her. "Try right, left, and then right again." Raye nodded. "You got that, Arthur?" Arthur looked forward in despondency. "... Arthur?", Raye poked at him. Confessional, Arthur: "I just couldn't stop thinking about Chastity. But who couldn't? She's hot, man." The camera panned to the Screaming Survivors' sled. "Up, up, up!", Milo shouted. Joshua looked back. "How am I supposed to go up?!" "I'm just a man!", Milo shouted back. Joshua began swerving back and forth as something suddenly burst from the ground next to him, as the sled narrowly avoided it. "What the heck was that?!", Angie blurted out. "You didn't expect me to waste explosives, right?", Chris shouted down with a grin. "Don't worry, I can smell when anything flamboyant is nearby," Daniel reassured his team, as a bomb went off inches near the sled. "Is that why we nearly blew up?!", Chastity shouted back. The camera panned back to the Killer Corpses, as Arthur struggled to focus. Ann continued whispering back to someone. "Alice says left, right, right, left!" Raye poked Arthur. "Are you paying attention now?" Arthur turned around, confused. "what were you saying?" "Tree!", Steve shouted, as the sled barely passed the tree. However, Kasumi's head smashed into the tree, causing her to regain consciousness. Kasumi's eyes lit up. She shook Steve. "Why won't you let me have my baby back?!", Kasumi cluelessly asked. "Arthur, get a grip!", Maverick shouted, as the sled headed directly towards a tree. "Huh?", Arthur asked, as the sled collided with the tree and broke apart, leaving the Killer Corpses' members on the ground without any form of transportation. Arthur nervously laughed as the rest of his teammates glared at him. The Screaming Survivors' sled continued avoiding bombs. "The is hopeless!", Joshua explained. Jack slapped his hand on his forehead as he made his way to the head of the sled. "What are you doing?", Joshua questioned, as Jack shoved Joshua behind him. "Just trust me," Jack said, as he headed straight towards a bomb popping out of the ground. "A homicide won't help us win!", Chastity shouted. The sled approached the bomb as the Screaming Survivors, excluding Jack, all screamed in horror. The sled met with the bomb as the explosion launched the sled very far down the hill, only yards from the finish line. Joshua scratched his head. Confessional, Joshua: "How is it that he's able to do with a psychotic brain what I was not able to do with a brilliant brain?" The Screaming Survivors' passed the finish line. "And that's a win for the Screaming Survivors!", Chris proclaimed. The Screaming Survivors cheered as Jack gave a dark, yet satisfied grin. The Killer Corpses ended up running across the finish line. "What happened to you guys?", Milo asked. "We would've gotten here sooner if somebody controlled the sled," Raye said, glaring at Arthur. "Well, maybe if somebody used her psychic powers to see that I wouldn't be a good enough choice, we wouldn't have crashed in the first place!", Arthur snapped back. Raye began to angrily walk toward Arthur, as Kasumi restrained her from doing any damage. "Looks like it's tiebreaker time," Chris declared. "Meet me over at the forts for your third challenge. Hopefully they haven't melted." The camera cutaway to both teams at their respective snow forts. "Tiebreaker time!", Chris announced. "The third challenge will be a snowball fight." "Aren't we a little too mature for this?", Joshua asked. "Maybe you, Joshua, but I'm not sure about the rest," Chris said. "The winner is determined by whoever's fort is knocked down first." Chastity looked down at the small, two-foot high square fort that her team made. "Perfect," she said. "Isn't this a little similar to a challenge in season four?", Haley questioned. "We're changing it up a bit this time, instead of snow balls, we're having snow covered cannonballs! Just try not to get hit with one, get hit in the stomach and you'll be chucking up your lunch for a week." "Where's our prize?", Joshua asked. "Oh right," Chris said, as he presented Chef carrying a cannon. "You will be given a cannon to launch your snow-non balls, while the Killer Corpses have to use their hands. But unfortunately, you're going to have to do a lot of launching to get the Corpses' fort down. Here's a demonstration how to use the cannon." Chris lit a match and lit the cannon, triggering it to launch a cannonball at Chef's stomach. Chef then covered his mouth nauseously and ran off to the restroom. "Fun, ain't it?", Chris chuckled. The teams were stationed at their forts. "Ready, set, snow!", Chris declared. Ann lifted up a a cannon ball and quickly dropped it. "It's too heavy!", she shouted. Kasumi began rolling around the cannonballs, making them build up snow. Raye looked over and smirked. "Everyone do what Kasumi's doing!", Raye exclaimed, as everyone except for Arthur began rolling the cannonballs around. Chastity looked around. "Where are the matches?" Chris sat in a beach chair and looked up. "Who said anything about matches? The cannon was the prize, bra." Chastity glared at Chris, and threw a cannon ball and his crotch. Chris cringed and began to groan. "I have a lighter!", Daniel said. He took out his lighter and lit the cannon. The cannon produced smoke, but did not launch the cannonball. "Auuuuugh!", Chastity blurted out, slapping the cannon. "Enough wasting time, they've discovered a technique," Joshua declared. "The best we can do now is toss them." Joshua tried to lift one up, but ended up dropping it on his foot. "Come on, guys, we have to work together!", Haley happily said. Chastity became enraged. "I'm sick and tired of you trying to help. Friendship doesn't win competitions and it certainly won't help you win this one, so if you'll kindly sit down and shut up, we can maybe win." Haley frowned and walked off. The camera panned back to the Killer Corpses, who had made their cannonballs larger by building up snow. "And... roll!" Raye said, as her team rolled their cannonballs toward the Screaming Survivors fort. Three of the cannonballs hit, damaging the front of the fort. "And, we're done for," Chastity said. Daniel sat next to Haley. "It sucks nobody appreciates my love for fire," he said, "we could've used my fireworks to break through their fort." Haley's eyes lit up. "Wait here!" Haley walked over to Chastity. "What did I tell you?", Chastity said, scowling at Haley. "But, I have an idea," Haley proudly exclaimed. "I have another one, go back to where you were sitting," Chastity pointed to Haley's spot. "Listen you have to-" Haley started. "Me? You have to-" "JUST LISTEN TO ME!", Haley shouted, quickly covering her mouth afterward, as her team attentively looked at her. Confessional, Haley: "I didn't want to raise my voice, but hey, it got everyone to listen to me, didn't it?" "Okay, look," Haley said, "we need to use Daniel's fireworks if we're ever going to win this. I don't see any other way." Chastity looked at Joshua and then back to Haley. "Okay... well... good job?" Haley smiled. Chastity signaled for Daniel. "Daniel, get ready to light up," she said. Daniel gave a pleased grin and ran back to the Survivors' sleeping area to retrieve the fireworks. The camera panned back to the Killer Corpses, as Raye looked in the cannonball box, confused. "We only got six cannonballs?!", she exclaimed. Chris returned, with an ice pack on his groin. "I didn't think it would take more than seven cannonballs to take down the Survivors' fort... ow..." "Wait, seven?" Raye asked, as she looked over at Arthur, who was sitting on his cannonball, dazed and confused. Maverick walked up the Arthur and pushed him off the cannonball. "You had a cannonball all this time and didn't use it?!", Maverick shouted. "Yeah, well, at least I can keep a relationship running!", Arthur shouted back, with Maverick shooting a confused look. Raye walked up to the two. "Enough, guys, we need to start rolling if we're ever-" "Woooooooooooooooooo!", Daniel shouted, as he lit the fireworks. The fireworks began sparkling, and then launch directly into the Corpses' fort. The walls began to collapse, as the fireworks continued bursting. When the fireworks ceased to burst, the fort was dissolved. "My fort!", Chelsea cried, as she began patting snow. "And that's another win for the Screaming Survivors!", Chris declared, as the Survivors rejoiced. "I told you arson comes in handy," Daniel reassured his team. Chris approached the Killer Corpses. "Well, Corpses, it's time for the elimination ceremony. I'll see you there." Raye walked up to Arthur. "We'll definitely see you there," she said, as the rest of the team walked off. The camera cutaway to the elimination ceremony. "Well, it's been an interesting day," Chris said. "With thrills, chills, and betrayals, it's time for you to feast on expired food. But you know how this works, anyone who doesn't get a survival kit takes the Launch of Shame, copyrighted by Total Drama Inc.!" Arthur nervously looked at his teammates. Chris lifted up three survival kits. "Survival kits go to Raye, Maverick, and Steve." All three caught their survival kits. Chris picked up two more. "Chelsea and Ann are also safe!" The two caught their kits. Confessional, Chelsea: "Of course I got a kit, I'm the only one who actually did anything today..." Chris held up a final kit and became solemn. "Kasumi and Arthur, this is the final survival kit of the night." Kasumi played with her hair happily, as Arthur looked up nervously. Chris lifted up the kit. "And it goes to..." Arthur crossed his fingers. "... Kasumi!", Chris tossed the survival kit to Kasumi. Kasumi happily caught her kit as Arthur stood up angrily. "Ah, forget it. I don't need this show to became famous," he said, "I already know that I'll be a famous writer one day." Maverick turned to Arthur. "Do you really think girls dig writers?" "Chastity does," Arthur said confidently, as his team began to laugh. "I'm not kidding, she does!" Chef then picked up Arthur and took him to the Launch of Shame. As Arthur was tied up, Chris approached the rocket, "any final words?" Arthur glared. "I've looked over at the dialogue of this show so much that I know you won't let me-" Chris hit the launch button, as Arthur was launched into the distance. "Another satisfying ending," Chris chuckled. Confessional, Chastity: "Arthur's the first to fall victim to my looks, and with six guys left, the possibilities are endless." Chastity smiled as the confessional ended and the screen faded to black.